Much of this website is devoted to helping couples who have just experienced or are currently enduring a breakup.
Of course a far better outcome is if you can stop a breakup from ever happening in the first place. So how do you stop a breakup from occurring? Few breakups occur in isolation, there are generally always causative factors that influence one partner’s decision to breakup with the other.
Of course if we can identify these factors and in turn deal with them, then potentially we can stop a breakup from ever having to occur. Human nature being what it is we often tend to ignore the warning signs that these factors create. People often say they never saw a breakup coming but the reality is people on the verge of a breakup, follow quite predictable behavioral patterns. If you can follow these patterns then you have a chance to respond prior to a breakup occurring.
Some danger signs to look out for:
Avoidance: perhaps your partner is not answering telephone calls or texts. Maybe they are constantly busy and unable to spend any time with you. Whatever the excuse it is a definite danger sign when your partner is avoiding communicating with you or spending any quality time with you.
Defensiveness: if you partner seems overly defensive about their whereabouts or activities. Even perhaps openly lying to you about what they’re doing. This is also sometimes an indication of an affair.
Argumentative: If your partner is constantly spoiling for a fight or perhaps hyper critical of everything you do. Many times in the lead up to a breakup, there is a pattern of a series of escalating arguments.
Lack of intimacy: if your partner is demonstrating a distinct lack of interest in the sexual aspect of your relationship.
Is my relationship worth fighting for?
If you believe a break up is imminent then it really is time to do some soul-searching. Is this relationship worth fighting for? Do you really want to stop a break up from occurring? Is your partner the right person for you, especially given that they are considering breaking up with you?
Even if you prevent a break up this time are you just setting yourself up for greater pain at some stage in the future? Have no illusions, saving your relationship will be difficult and probably painful. It will require great determination and should not be undertaken lightly
If you decide that yes, your love is worth fighting for, then you need to take some direct action to stop the break up from occurring and to get your relationship back on track.
Take Action. Talk it through.
You need to sit down with your partner and present to them your fears. You need to encourage a frank and honest discussion of the problems you face. Your partner may well be defensive and even possibly uncooperative. Breaking through these barriers and establishing honest communications is an essential first step.
An excellent resource to assist with dealing with this sort of relationship rescue is author Amy Waterman’s, “Save My Marriage Today” (click the image to visit Amy’s site). This e-book though specifically written for married couples is exceptionally relevant to all couples that are experiencing difficulties. It provides communication techniques and conflict resolution principles, which are indispensable at this time.
Have no illusions, you need all the help you can get. Your relationship is extremely fragile at this time and with out the correct guidance, you can potentially make critical mistakes, which your relationship may not be able to recover from.
Identify the issues
Once you have established a meaningful dialogue it is important that both of you present your problems and complaints regarding the relationship. This step can be difficult and painful but it is unavoidable and needs to be done if your relationship is to succeed and you are to stop breakup from occuring.
Once you have identified the flaws and faults in your relationship, then you must agree upon a course of action that will help you correct these issues and stop a breakup from occuring. Please give yourself some time, many problems can’t be fixed overnight and will require work to resolve, patience is a key ingredient in building a healthy relationship.
Also don’t be surprised if you find many of the issues in your relationship are due to external factors. Whether it is pressure at work, financial pressure or family issues, external factors are responsible for many relationships failing. It’s important to acknowledge that your partner is suffering due to these factors. You must understand that your relationship is endangered by the emotional turmoil these factors create. It is imperative that you show support and understanding of your partners situation.
Equally important is not to regard small issues as being unimportant. Small issues can become big issues if given enough time to fester. It’s important to deal with all your issues and not give them an opportunity to grow into big problems.
Don’t shy away from sexual issues: if you feel unfulfilled or dissatisfied with that aspect of the relationship now is the time to present it. One great book that provides a great deal of assistance in this area is Michael Webb’s, “500 Lovemaking Tips & Secrets” (click the image to visit Michaels site)
The advice in this product will most definitely spice up your sex life and is a proven path to reigniting the passion in your relationship.
Whatever your belief system sexual dissatisfaction is very common and most definitely should not be ignored. You must seek to create compatibility in all aspects of a relationship, both physical and mental.
Work the plan
Once you have identified the issues your relationship faces, it is important that you commit yourself to a dedicated and consistent effort toward resolving all of them.
Initiating change is never easy particularly lasting change. Once again I have to recommend Amy Waterman’s, “Save My Marriage Today” She really does provide excellent guidance for all relationships. Whether it be providing essential strategies or highlighting potential pitfalls, Amy Waterman’s advice is invaluable at this stage of repairing your relationship.
Hopefully this article has provided you with some valuable insight into stopping a breakup from occurring. Remember good things seldom come to those who wait, take decisive action and do what needs to be done to save your relationship and stop a breakup.
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